FML

So, I have the luxury of being shuttled to and from my work place.  The benefits of said service are many, including (but not limited to) the following:

1) Saves me a whole lotta money.  As Katt Williams once quipped, "you are not supposed to be at the gas station making life decisions."  Amen, brother.  Thanks to the shuttle service, I no longer have to make those critical life decisions at the gas station, like deciding between things like gas money vs my 401 (k) retirement fund; gas money vs groceries; or, of utmost important, gas money vs money for some new 4" heels.

2) I get extra much-needed sleep time.  Since I live about an hour from work (in each direction), the extra 2-hr nap time is literally saving my life and my sanity.

3) I also get my daily dose of eye candy.

Y'all knew I was getting to point #3.  :) 

Yup.  There's a hottie white boy on my shuttle to work.  I'll admit, he looks kind of young.  Okay, fine.  He looks like he just straight-up graduated from college and this might be his first job outta school.  So, sue me.  I'm human.  I'm a 3- (ahem, cough) year old woman, I'm not dead. 

Anyway.  I let slide the possibility that he could be young 'cuz, hell, I'm only "window shopping," right?  "Look, but don't touch the merchandise."  I really should make a t-shirt out of that line.  [Wait.  As a t-shirt, that line actually does not convey the same message.....errrr....*awkward*]  I digress.  Back to the regularly scheduled program.

The other day, the age differential finally came around and gave me a swift kick in the arse.  As I was waiting for the shuttle to arrive, I saw the hottie white boy,...being dropped off,...by someone who apparently looked to be,...his mother.

I really am a resident of Cougarville, aren't I?  Zip code: 5432-S$#@!. 

FML.

A Case of Mistaken Identity

The scene: At a club in Hollywood on Friday night
The parties involved: Me and the washroom attendant in the ladies' room

Washroom attendant (while checking out my outfit):  Oh, honey, aren't you cold?"
Note: Hey. I'm at a club in Hollywood.  When in Rome, do as the Romans do, right?

Me: Oh, don't worry.  I'll warm up once I start dancing.

Washroom attendant:  Oh, are you one of our new girls?

Me (confused): New girls,...?  Huh?

Washroom attendant:  One of our new girls.  One of our new dancers.  I haven't met you yet.

Me:  Oh!  Ha ha ha ha....No, I'm not one of the "new girls."  I meant, "once I start dancing out there, on the dance floor, I'll warm up.  On the dance floor."

Washroom attendant:  Oh, you're not one of our new girls?  I was going to say, I haven't met you yet.


Is it wrong that I am taking as a compliment the fact that I was mistaken to be a go-go dancer?  :-D