nan · cy · ful. [nan-see-fuhl]
- adjective
1. indulging in or influenced by Nancy; "a nancyful mind"
2. characterized or suggested by Nancy
3. having a curiously intricate and delicate quality
4. based on fact, reason, and experience; in other words, keepin' it real.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

When You Stumble, It Causes Me To Stumble

So I have this theory.  Actually, this "theory" is a fact and I'm just waiting for the rest of the world to catch up.  If you're already on-board the "Nancy-is-right-yet-again-how-does-she-do-that-damnit" train, good for you.  Pass "Go," collect $200.  If you're not on-board, we'll try not to blow too much steam in your face on our way to "Nancy-is-right" Town.

Soooo,.....What is this fact?

Clumsy chicks got game.

Yeah, your read it right.  C2G2, baby.  And now that you think about, I bet y'all are scratching your heads and nodding in agreement.  "Well, to be honest, at first that sounded like a totally retarded theory but, yeah, she's got a point there,..."

Just think about it, gentle reader.  Think about any of your uber cute / pretty / hot / "insert adjective that describes aesthetic value in positive light" girl friends.  What is the common denominator?  What is that inexplicable thing these ladies have (or, in this case, do, albeit inadvertently) that leaves you in a perpetual state of both dumbfounded offense and supreme awe of their "mad skills" to attract the affections of the opposite sex?  I used to attribute the "mad skills" purely to the physical aesthetics of my girl friends.  After all, men are typically led by their eyes.  (Let's not talk about that other part of the male anatomy that tends to lead them...)  While looks do play a significant role, I propose that the icing on the cake, the factor that really tips the scale in favor of our uber cute girl friends, is that they are also attractively, adorkably klutzy.

Let's test this theory and see if the observable data accordingly corroborates.  Using the scientific method, I shall:

1) Gather data (i.e., observations about something that is unexplained).

Observation #1: My girlfriends who are the hottest commodities are also the clumsiest.

Observation #2: When comparing two female subjects of relatively equal attractiveness, as soon as the behavior of one indicates some level of clumsiness, men will tend to select and/or fall head over heels for the subject that is clumsy or clumsier. 

Observation #3: I've heard, on more than one occasion, from various reliable sources of the opposite sex, that guys like girls who are clumsy.  Wow.  Straight from the horse's mouth.  'Nough said.  But, just to hammer this point home, let's take this study to completion.

Observation #4: Fergie even sang about this whole Clumsy phenomenon. Dude. If The Duchess says it's so, then who are we to argue?!

2) Hypothesize an explanation for those observations.
Hypothesis: Guys dig it when girls are clumsy. Duh.

3) Deduce a consequence of that explanation (a prediction). Formulate an experiment to see if the predicted consequence is observed.
Prediction:  I bet if I trip over a rock, bump into somebody while on my way somewhere, or spill a drink during lunch, some single male or some single men, observing one of these classically clumsy behaviors, will fall for me.  And I bet, if I do all three during the course of the day, I will have a host of suitors before I can drop my books or bruise myself from banging my leg on some table.

4) Test for corroboration.
Okay so, I didn't test my prediction.  Puh-lease.  I'm not about to intentionally make myself black-and-blue just to get some guys to holla at me.  That said, perhaps I will attempt to spill my drink - on somebody else - and see if my theory is just as successfully corroborated.

In fact, I urge you, gentle reader, to test this theory yourself.  Sharpen your observation skills.  Pay closer attention.  Bust out your detective hat, Sherlock!  Dig a little deeper, Watson!  'Cuz you and me baby ain't notihn' but mammals so let's do it* like they do on the Discovery Channel.

[* = Er, "Do it" in this context is interpreted to mean OBSERVE IT.  Let's keep it Rated G, kids.]

Anyway. You get my point.  Now that the world makes sense again, you can thank me in the Comments section.